I interview Lake Eden's Most Eligible Feline Bachelor...why, Moishe, of course (with an assist from Joanne Fluke)

We continue our character interviews with a dashing chap - Moishe, the handsome cat featured in the Hannah Swenson mystery series written by the talented Joanne Fluke!

R:  Welcome Moishe!  I understand you’re known as ‘Lake Eden’s most eligible feline bachelor, meow!”

M: Now, Rocco... you can't believe everything those Tabbies say!

R:  Well, as one eligible feline bachelor to another, welcome!  I myself have been called “Clifton New Jersey’s most eligible feline bachelor,” so I can identify!

M: That’s great, ROCCO! You sound like a cat who knows the score.

R:  As do you, my friend, as do you.  Now, let’s get down to business, shall we?

M: I'm ready anytime you are.  You're the boss, Rocco!

R: Ahem! Glad you recognize that, Moishe!  If only the Human did...Anyway, now for all our interested readers out there – particularly the female felines – describe a typical day in your life.

M:  Thanks for asking, Rocco.  It’s probably a lot like your typical day.  I get up when Hannah does and I follow her to the kitchen.  I’m careful to act hungry because I don’t want her to know that I’ve figured out the new lock she put on the kitchen closet where she keeps my food.  By the way, she calls them “kitty crunchies”!  Have you ever heard anything sillier?  After I brush against her ankles a couple of times, she gets the idea and fills my bowls with water and food.  Then she takes a shower, I help myself to a bit more food while she’s doing that, and then she dresses and leaves for work.  That’s when my day really starts.

I take a tour of the condo to see what’s new.  That’s usually nothing.  And then I climb back in bed to take a little nap until the birds start pecking at the feeder Hannah mounted just outside the window for me.  It’s fun to bang against the window pane to scare the birds off and I do that for a while.  Then it’s time for another nap on the back of the couch.  (It’s a great couch -- It works perfectly for sharpening my claws.)  I wake up when the two ladies across from Hannah’s condo come home.  You know, my friend Cuddles used to live with one of them.  I paw the picture window because they think it’s cute and they buy lots of cat treats and toys for me.  Then I eat a little mid-afternoon snack and nap on Hannah’s guest room bed until she comes home.  Then it’s food time again (I usually get some of her food too,) We sometimes have company or we perhaps we watch a movie on television.  The company is usually Norman or Mike and both of them bring me things.  Norman brings me Cuddles to play with.  She’s pretty and young and she likes to play chase, but I can usually calm her down by showing her how to open Hannah’s dresser drawers.  When the company leaves, Hannah sacks out for the night.  I pretend I’m sleeping until she starts snoring and then I open the closet door to play with the last mouse I caught.

R: How did you and Hannah get together?

M: I was out there on the streets and it was getting a little cold at night so I prowled around and found the warmest garage in Hannah’s condo complex.  I sniffed the bags of garbage she carried out to the dumpster and I knew I’d found a home.  Hannah eats salmon, tuna, shrimp, and lots of other really good stuff so I decided to move in with her.  I sat on her doorstep and when I heard her pull into the garage,  I looked so cold and miserable that she believed my performance, took me inside, fed me a whole can of salmon, and wrapped me up in a warm blanket.  I tell you Rocco, I should have gotten an Oscar for the acting job I did!    

R: I'm sure it was fabulous! Now, how do you cope with Hannah’s penchant for solving mysteries?

M:  It’s like this Rocco – everybody’s got to do something for a hobby.  Hannah’s hobby just happens to be solving murders.  I’d like it a little better if her hobby were raising boneless chickens or flightless birds in her living room, but hey, it is what it is!

R:  What do you love most about Hannah?  Dislike most?

M: Hannah treats me like a furry, four-footed friend.  That’s what I love most about her- that, and the salad shrimp she always keeps in the freezer for me.  What I dislike the most about her is her mother.  Delores is a real pain in the fur, if you know what I mean.  You wouldn’t  believe how long it took me to teach that woman to feed me my favorite fish-shaped, salmon-flavored kitty treats !

R: **Big question: Which of Hannah’s suitors is your favorite, Norman or Mike?

M: I like Mike the best when he’s here.  And I like Norman the best when he’s here.  Both of them bring me snacks and toys so it’s pretty equal on that score.  I do think Norman would make a better husband for her, but that may be selfish on my part.  You see, if Hannah married Norman she’d move into that great house of his and I’d be able to live with my favorite little Feline Valentine, Cuddles.  (Of course she might just wear me out… If you ever meet her, don’t tell her I said that.)  I don’t really mind the way it stands right now with Hannah dating both of them.  I’m the most important male in her life and I know it.

R: Your name is so unusual. What’s the story behind that?

M: Hannah named me after the Israeli general, Dyan.  She says it’s because he was blind in one eye just like me, and because he’d been through the wars.  Now, it’s true that I’m blind in one eye, but that was an accident that happened when I was very young. I haven’t been through any wars, though,  unless you count the time that I spent on the streets.  It wasn’t that bad.  The people here in Lake Eden are nice to homeless cats.  I figure that the real reason she named me after that Israeli general is because I’m so brave.  I save her from mice and bugs, and if a bird ever gets in here, It’s TOAST! 

R: Like myself, you’re a big boy (grin),  Which of Hannah’s delicious recipes is your very favorite?

M:  She made me a Good Kitty Cake right after we solved the murder in Devils Food Cake Murder.  That was the best recipe she ever made.  Of course the Salmon Cakes she made when we worked on Carrot Cake Murder were really tasty too.  And Trudy’s Shrimp Bisque in Peach Cobbler Murder was great.  I’m not that fond of the broth, too much tomato for me, but if you hook the shrimp with a claw and pull it out of the bowl, it’s most excellent.

 R: We know Hannah likes to get a bit “zealous” solving a mystery. Which of her adventures caused you the most concern?  Which did you enjoy the most?

M:  I’m always worried about her when she confronts a killer.  Unless they have some kind of weapon, humans are pretty defenseless.  Hannah doesn’t have claws and she can’t climb a tree to get out of anyone’s reach.  She can’t run very fast either or jump over things that get in her way.  The thing that really burns me is that she could avoid all that jeopardy if she’d just listen to me.  I always know who the killer is long before she does.  I was absolutely appalled when I found out she’d almost drowned in Carrot Cake Murder.  I mean, who’s going to feed me if she’s gone?  Then there was that episode in the Jacuzzi in Cream Puff Murder.  The time she hid in the hospital morgue in Cinnamon Roll Murder was scary too, not to mention the episode in the bell tower of the church in Devil’s Food Cake Murder.  Who did she think she was?  Quasimodo?   I could go on and on, but I’ll save my breath so that I can yowl for dinner when she comes home.

R: So tell me how you feel about this woman, Joanne Fluke. Do you feel she portrays Hannah accurately? Portrays you accurately?

M:  She’s okay with Hannah and she tells a good story.  Joanne (we’re on a first name basis now that I’ve learned how to turn on Hannah’s computer and e-mail her) has, over the years, also picked up a few basic words of cat.  Of course the feline language is filled with nuances and it’s very complicated, not like the simple language Joanne speaks, so I have to be careful to simplify things for her.  That seems to be working because Joanne understood me when I complained about the fact that Hannah always has the starring role in the books.  She promised to give me a more important role in Red Velvet Cupcake Murder and she did.  Just wait until you read it.  It’s awesome!

R:If you could change one thing about Hannah, what would it be?

M:  I’d teach her to like fish heads.  I love fish heads and I haven’t had any in forever.  Hannah brought home a whole fish once and threw away the head!  Can you imagine being so short-sighted?  I had to wait until the next day and dig it out of the kitchen garbage.  But I guess I shouldn’t complain too much.  At least she gives me the heart, gizzard, and liver from the chickens she roasts.

R: Even though you’re visually challenged, you have a knack for getting at food (cat or otherwise) what are some of the ingenious ways you’ve devised to sate your appetite?

M:  I simply used the skills I learned on the street, Rocco.  If one thing doesn’t work, try another until you find something that does.  Once I started, it was a matter of pride to succeed.  I needed to prove that I could outwit Hannah.  Of course I probably wouldn’t have worked on those locks for so long if food hadn’t been involved.

R: We know Hannah’s mother Delores, isn’t exactly your favorite person. Care to elaborate?

M: Delores is a little slow, if you know what I mean.  Some humans simply don’t get it.  It took me over a dozen pairs of shredded stockings before she realized that I didn’t want her to pick me up.  And it took me almost 2 years to teach her that I wouldn’t attack her if she brought me my favorite treats.  Delores does have one redeeming quality though; she buys the big bag of salad shrimp at CostMart for her freezer.

R:  How does Hannah feel about her mom’s “career” as a romance writer?

Hannah thinks it’s great.  When her mother is working on a Regency romance, she’s busy and that means she doesn’t give Hannah a dump truck load of kitty litter about how she should settle on Mike or Norman and get married.

R:  Any chance of your getting a “sidekick” in these stories- like maybe a handsome tuxedo cat – anytime soon?

M:  That’s a very interesting idea, Rocco.  I mean, everyone knows that there are two cats in the Hannah books.  I’m the lead cat, of course, but I wouldn’t mind sharing some of the spotlight with a good buddy.  There’s only one thing… if I accept you as my sidekick, keep your paws off Cuddles!  One wrong move and I teach you exactly why I did so well on the streets!

R:  Just for fun…

Catnip or scratching post?

M:  Scratching post.  I don’t like drugs- unless you count shrimp as a drug.  (R:  Actually, I have on occasion! )

Canape or coconut cream pie?

M: That depends on the canapé.  I really like those little toast points with caviar, but please, please, please leave off the capers!  Those sour little things give me indigestion and that’s not fun.

Tabbies or Tuxedos?

M:  Aw, come on!  Just because I had that procedure at the veterinary clinic doesn’t mean I lost all my desire for… well, you know.  I prefer Tabbies, of course.  That doesn’t mean Tuxedos can’t be friends, but believe me, that’s as far as it goes!


Moishe, my friend, it's been a pleasure to host you!  Folks, in honor of Moishe's visit here, his human Hannah's friend, Joanne Fluke, is offering up a "Hannah Grab Bag" to one lucky reader, which will include: A Cookie Jar_Lake Eden Apron, A Chip Clip, Light stick saying "Hannah Rocks" and "Swedish Plasma" mug!

Just leave a comment in the comments section with your e-mail address! For extra entries you can:
Friend the Human on FB
Follow Joanne on FB or Twitter
Follow moi at RoccoBlogger on Twitter
Tweet or FB about this giveaway! (3 extra entreis)
Contest closes  Midnight Saturday, March 2.

The winners of our Miranda James giveaway are:  Karen B and Kathy! Watch for an email from the Human to claim your prize!

and on Sunday, kicking off March: Kari Lee Townsend returns to the blog!

Meow!


ROCCO
INCREDIBLE BLOGGING CAT